I’ve been having trouble falling asleep the last several days. This has had the usual effect that not being able to sleep usually has, I’m a little cranky and I’m yawning quite a bit. Last night I got about 4 hours of sleep, a couple of things struck me today:
1) I haven’t had trouble falling asleep in like… 2 years? If anything, I’ve had trouble avoiding falling asleep. My modus operendi over the last couple of years was to go to bed early and sleep late. I needed 9 hours of sleep in order to have a chance to feel rested.
2) Along those lines, I was tired today, but I wasn’t exhausted. There is a significant difference. There have been times over this past year where I would wake up from an 8 or 9 hour sleeping session and wonder if I had died I was so tired. Imagine spending your whole day feeling like you do when the alarm first goes off in the morning. That groggy, can’t wait to close my eyes, maybe I should call in to work so that I can sleep another 10 hours kind of feeling. I had weeks of feeling like that, and it didn’t matter how much sleep I got, I woke up exhausted. Today I was tired because I didn’t get enough sleep. What a feeling! Sure, I yawned a bit, and it took me a little while to get going this morning, but I felt good!
I’ve also noticed a clearing up around the edges of my mind recently. Once again, I have had weeks where I’ve been reduced to a more or less reptilian state of mind. Both because of the fatigue and the dreaded “brain cloud” that accompanies MS. Once I felt rested, I felt sharper too. Over the past several weeks, I have had the remaining mists clear out. The feeling is akin to getting a new prescription on your glasses. You don’t realize how fuzzy things were until they clear up.
The upshot to this is that I’m feeling pretty good. Noticeably better than in recent history. And since this has come with the start of my new treatments, I’m willing to give it credit for the improvements. My second treatment is next week. I’m hoping for more improvements! But now, I need to go to sleep, I can only feel good for so long:-)